When you see that extra + on your pregnancy test it could be that that is the beginning of a new journey but for people in the military it is also the end of another one, getting pregnant. Getting pregnant as a military wife is just not the same. Telling the news to your spouse is also not guaranteed to be on the same day and you could be thousands of kilometers apart when you celebrate the news together. That is just one part of the whole journey that you experience very differently from any other couple who is not in the army.
Your journey
Your journey is different than anyone's. Not only sharing all the details with your partner but also sharing the first kick, when you feel the little bubbles in your belly or when you just need a foot massage after a long day. This is something you can only experience when you are going through it. There are very amazing parts too because when your spouse is home it is almost like you both enjoy it so much more intense together. Your relationship is different on deeper levels.
Not having a sounding board
After interviewing some of the army wives online, I found out that not having a sounding board is something that they experienced as the hardest. When does a baby cry too much, what shall we do when s/he has a fever, does her poop look normal, what do we do when your newborn projectile vomits once a day? All these questions you discuss with your spouse first before you go to a professional to see if something needs to be done. It feels like you are a single mum when you are in a relationship with the father of your baby.
There is help out there
Giving birth is hard to plan unless you have a planned caesarean. The deployment of your spouse is even harder to plan than an unplanned birth. What you could do is organise your family to help you after you give birth but when family or friends have to fly in, it is a bit hard to tell them not to come when your spouse happens to be home just when you give birth. What if you could plan a service to come whenever your spouse is not there and postpone the service when your spouse is there? This service will come to your house when you are still pregnant and you tell them exactly what kind of service you want to support you after giving birth. When you tell that service how you want them to help you then you are prepared for after giving birth.
This is what it could look like
You make a care plan together with Cradle Care. In that care plan you write down all your needs. This could be taking care of siblings, a helping hand in household, cooking or meal prep, giving you a sleep break while a carer looks after your baby, someone being there while you go and do your health checks with your newborn or any other care that you feel you need to make sure you can be there for yourself and for your newborn. We then visit you in the weeks after giving birth and look after you, your baby, and your other children according to your care plan. This service is all about supporting you as a new mother - while you rest and get to know your newborn.
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