Childbirth is a monumental event that leaves an indelible impact not just on a woman's body but also on her emotional well-being. Yet, in the hustle and bustle of new motherhood, many women find it almost impossible to slow down and rest. So, why is it that mums have such a hard time hitting the pause button?
The societal pressure to "Bounce Back" after childbirth
Society often glamorizes the notion of the "super mum" — a woman who seems to have it all together right after childbirth. The cultural emphasis on "bouncing back" puts undue stress on new mums, creating a sense that taking time to recover is a form of weakness. But it's crucial to remember that every woman's recovery journey is different and should be honoured as such.
The perceived role of a mother
The traditional role of a mother as the primary caregiver can add to the pressure. Many mums feel it's their duty to maintain the household, look after older siblings, and nurture the newborn—all while recovering from childbirth. These perceived responsibilities can make it difficult to focus on their own healing.
It’s not just physical, it's emotional too
There's a lot of emotional unpacking to do after childbirth. Whether it's the joy of holding your baby or the fear of navigating the uncharted waters of motherhood, these emotions can be overwhelming. Often, staying busy becomes a coping mechanism to avoid dealing with these complex feelings.
The unspoken hormonal changes
Postpartum hormonal changes can affect a mother's mood and energy levels. Hormones like oxytocin and endorphins can sometimes give new mums a "high," making them feel energetic and capable of taking on multiple tasks, even when they physically need to rest.
The Support Gap
While partners, family, and friends may offer to help, sometimes their support doesn't align with your needs. This disconnect can make you feel like you must do everything yourself, pushing through to be in constant motion.
Sometimes you don't have any help around you. "The village" that used to be is not there anymore. What you might be able to do is create support around you by looking for help in a way of a support service. A cleaner, a laundry service, a nanny or an au-pair could make a great difference to your life. When you don't have family or friends around, it doesn't mean you have to do it alone.
Breaking the Cycle: How to Slow Down
Acknowledge the Need for Rest
First and foremost, admit to yourself that it's okay to need rest. Your body has undergone a massive transformation, and it's entirely reasonable to take time to recover.
Set Boundaries
Be clear about your limits with your partner, family, and even yourself. It's fine to say no to social events or to ask for help with household chores.
Communicate Your Needs
Don't expect others to read your mind. If you need help, ask for it. Open communication can prevent misunderstandings and align your support network with your real needs.
Listen to Your Body
Ignore societal pressure and listen to what your body is telling you. If you need sleep, sleep. If you need to eat, eat. Your body is the best indicator of what you should be doing.
Seek Professional Guidance
If you find it difficult to slow down, it may help to speak to a healthcare provider for advice on managing stress and postpartum recovery.
Slowing down after childbirth is not a sign of weakness; it's a critical part of recovery that should be respected and encouraged. Mums are the backbone of the family unit, and a healthy, happy mum leads to a healthy, happy family. Remember, it's not just about caring for everyone else—you also need to take care of yourself.
Let's cast away the notion that slowing down is equivalent to failing. It's time to embrace rest as an essential part of the incredible journey that is motherhood.
